Deep Thoughts...

I was thinking though that I should utilize my time doing something. I am not a writer or even a blogger yet right now this is something I could do just to make use of my time. Besides, I was thinking that I am fond of doing my own journal – yeah, I once did create one but didn’t pursue it. A journal can be of help especially when you got no one to share your thoughts with. I might as well use my blog too for this. Right now here in a room, in the middle of early morning, I am still awake. Don’t feel sleepy at all. I am in front of my laptop – well, writing down all the things that are on my mind right now. With the help of melodies it will be good to patch up those ideas coming out from my mind. Geez, am I this kind of person now? Oh bother, I really feel very empty inside. With all the happenings in my life this past days, weeks, and even months I really don’t know if I can be happy.

Oh yeah, I am so alone and right now my comfort zone is the four corners of this room, a laptop and a microsoft word in front of me. Funny though but it seems that this is the only friend I got at this moment. Honestly, my life seems worthless. Yes, it is. I can feel it right now. Thinking about me in the past and comparing it to the present, it is really worthless. I am not really a good person as others think. Living in this world I don’t know if how I can bear it. You see, I have no one around to console me when I am sad or even there’s no shoulder to cry onto. I am one of those unlucky person here is this world. Oh bother, how unfortunate of me living now and feeling helpless. They say I am lucky. Yeah, I am maybe lucky in some aspects like having the basic need (shelter, food, clothings) for sustaining a life but aside from that, I am NOBODY. I am like an empty shell surrounded with full of lies. I am not worthy to be called as a daughter or a child. I can’t even return a favor from the person whom gave her own life for me. I am worthless that I can’t do what I need to do. Being in this world isn’t that easy at all, you got to strive for the best, compete if you must. But what do it has become of me now. I really don’t know. I even don’t make a living so how could I be called as living independently. I still ask help from my mom. Yeah right, my fate lies to be in this way though. I don’t know but when a mother tells her child that she’s already tired of taking care of you, it really means a heartbreaking thing to accept. Yes, I was badly hurt when my mom told me that. “I am tired of you!” and it still clings onto my mind. Whenever I see her, those words are coming back. Aside from that, I got no freedom at all. I can’t do what I want since I have no right to do it. I just ended up having an argument with her if I do what I want to do to the point that those unkind words will come back and will pop out of my mind again. I have no job and even someone whom would love me. It’s funny though, but at this age I really can’t think of what to do with my life. Even if I let myself be numb, still I can’t hide the fact that I am nobody and totally hurt inside.

I am one of those unlucky since I was born to be this way. I was born without a golden spoon on my mouth; experienced losing almost 5 lives (funny I am like a cat with 9 lives or somehow let’s say a gumiho – nine tailed fox…hahahaha); has survived operations and even diseases yet not happy at all. I also experienced falling in love and ended being dumped at all. I wasn’t able to have someone whom would stay till the end instead just let go of me and see me get hurt. And right now even a stable job is no match for me. From having a broken family, to not having a stable job and even ended up without someone to love me for who and what I really am -- I am really that kind of unfortunate. This is really now my destiny – having a life full of emptiness within me and just ended up getting hurt by those people around me whether it’s someone I learned to entrust my life with or with those people whom happens to be my family. I was raised for the sake of I guess nothing (how pitiful of me right now). I can’t even raise a living on my own and just keeps on having debts to my mom. I can’t even make her happy for the truth is I’m still deeply hurt by her. Whenever I see her wounding words just keeps on emerging out of my mind leaving my heart totally in pain. It’s like the pain I’ve got way back a year ago. I thought I could continue being happy but it’s a mistake though that somehow I want to make it disappear. But right now there isn’t anything I can do to make it disappear. I want to do what I wanted to do and yet I just ended getting more hurtful words as a source of inspiration. I wanted to be happy, be with someone that would make me happy and yet ended up being alone and in pain. All I wanted turned out to be not the way I wanted it to be. I am hopeless now; I can’t even make my own money. Aish! Such a waste!

A person like me whom is unfortunate with the life that I am having right now is I guess I can say the most precious thing that I can treasure now and accept wholeheartedly. One can never turn back the time and even if one wants to, it’s no use at all.

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High School Acquaintances Reunited

Today is one of the get together bonding of some of my high school classmates here in Nature’s Discovery Camp, Tagaytay City. The temperature here is around 20 degrees Celsius feels like you’re in Baguio City. I now am starting to have a cold. It’s a nice place to hold a bonfire experience just like camping. I am happy and sad for some of my classmates didn’t even bother to make a one day sacrifice just to be within this kind of celebration. There are different reasons why they didn’t make it here; one would be out of budget. The other might be because of attending to their personal needs (i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend or career). Some quite complicated though. But even there are reasons why some didn’t make it still the event happened. Some of my classmates have already found their special someone and some still remains to be SINGLE at all (that includes ME). Funny though but there is a right time for love to come.

I can say that after so many years of not seeing each other, life did really change. As a matter of fact, some have their own fate – career, love life, and even hobbies. They are more mature now and of course full of experience. Experience makes a person neither strong nor open minded to the things around him. But what’s happier with this occasion is the bonding and stories that each of the participants imparts upon to. No matter what the distance might be still the memories lives on. We can’t bring back the past especially those happy thoughts but we can add another memory in the story of our lives.

This is my first time to attend a get together and I’m happy for it. Though, money isn’t good at this moment (not to mention no work) still I am proud for I can say – “Yes, I did make it! I did see them.” Money isn’t that important (just a little...hahaha) as long as you can see each and everyone’s laughter and hear their stories. You can witness the happiness from their faces and of course those characteristics that you once new way back high school life. You can see how they change – looks, body built-in and most of all the impressions you once got for a person. You now can tell that they are still the person whom became a part of your sanity. You can now tell who’s the one whom you can depend unto and the one whom would leave you hanging in the air. Memories are always there and will keep on growing as time goes by but wherever we might be it will remain a memory that lasts a lifetime.

I admit I sense some jealousy creeping into me when I see them already happy with their career and with of course their personal lives. I can’t help it though but I believe there is enough time for each person. It might be their time and not mine yet. Still, hoping is what matters most. I know that time will come when I could be lucky just like them too. Lucky in everything – personal life, career, and who knows even having someone whom would care enough for me till the end. The one whom I could call as “mine” and whom would stay by my side. Who knows that person is just around.

But the merriment must go on. And this is the time for each and everyone to add another memory in their book of journey in this beautiful place called Earth.

Work E-mail Mistakes

As I was surfing via net, a post in Yahoo News & Opinion category caught my attention. It brings about common work e-mail mistakes that most of us rely on as a form of communication. Neither we’re just at home nor at work, e-mail is indeed a helpful communication that we should make use of properly. Below are some of the worst e-mail mistakes that employees make and how to avoid them.

1. Sending before you mean to. Enter the recipient’s e-mail address only when your e-mail is ready to be sent. This helps reduce the risk of an embarrassing misfire, such as sending an important e-mail to the wrong person or e-mailing a half-written note.
2. Forgetting the attachment. If your e-mail includes an attachment, upload the file to the e-mail before composing it.
3. Expecting an instant response. Don’t send an e-mail and show up at the recipient’s desk 30 seconds later asking if they’ve received it. They did, and they’ll answer at their convenience. That’s the point of e-mail.
4. Forwarding useless e-mails. I’ve never seen a single e-mail forward at work that was beneficial. Whether it’s a silly joke or a heartwarming charity, there’s never a time to share an e-mail forward using your work e-mail.
5. Not reviewing all new messages before replying. When you return to the office after a week or more away, review all new e-mails before firing off responses. It might be hard to accept, but odds are, things did march on without you.
6. Omitting recipients when you “reply all.” Unless there’s an important reason to omit someone, don’t arbitrarily leave people off the response if they were included on the original message.
7. Including your e-mail signature again and again. Nor do you need to include it at the end of an e-mail you send to your long-time co-worker who sits six feet away. If you have your e-mail program set to automatically generate a signature with each new message, take a second to delete it when communicating with someone who knows who you are.
8. Composing the note too quickly. Don’t be careless; write every e-mail as if it will be read at Saint Peter’s Square during the blessing of a new Pope.
9. Violating your company’s e-mail policy. Many companies have aggressive spam filters in place that monitor “blue” language. From that famous four-letter word to simple terms, such as “job search,” don’t end up tripping the system by letting your guard down.
10. Failing to include basic greetings. Simple pleasantries do the trick. Say “hi” at the start of the message and “thanks” at the end.
11. E-mailing when you’re angry. Don’t do it. Ever. Recall buttons are far from a perfect science, and sending a business e-mail tainted by emotion is often a catastrophic mistake.
12. Underestimating the importance of the subject line. The subject line is your headline. Make it interesting, and you’ll increase the odds of getting the recipient’s attention. Our inboxes are cluttered; you need to be creative and direct to help the recipient cut through the noise.
13. Using incorrect subject lines. Change the subject line if you’re changing the topic of conversation.
14. Sending the wrong attachment. If you double-check an attachment immediately before sending and decide that you need to make changes, don’t forget to update the source file.
15. Not putting an e-mail in context. Even if you were talking to someone an hour ago about something, remind them in the e-mail why you’re writing.
16. Using BCC too often. Use BCC (blind carbon copy) sparingly. Even though it’s supposed to be a secret, it rarely is. Burn someone once, and they’ll never trust you again. Likewise, forwarding e-mail is a great way to destroy your credibility.
17. Relying too much on e-mail. News flash! No one is sitting around staring at their inbox waiting for your e-mail. If something is urgent, use another means of communication.
18. Hitting “reply all” unintentionally. This is a biggie. And it’s not just embarrassing; depending on what you wrote in that e-mail, it can ruin your relationship with a co-worker or even your boss.

Reasonably appealing and surely it will serve as a guide for each one of us in order to avoid the e-mail mistakes.